Bangkok After Hours - eBook

Bangkok After Hours - eBook
One Man's Wild Erotic Adventures in the Red Light Districts of Bangkok, Pattaya & Asia After Hours.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Secret Bangkok and Pattaya Bargirl Surveillance Program…

When it comes to top secret global surveillance and spy’s most guys would think about the Russians, Chinese, North Koreans, the Brit’s MI5 or the American CIA. Right? Well, let me tell you I’m about to blow the lid off the most top-secret surveillance program of all! What’s that? It’s the “Top Secret Bangkok and Pattaya Bargirl Aerial Drone Facial Recognition and iPhone App Surveillance Program”.

What’s this nefarious surveillance program used for? For tracking barmongers that visit Bangkok and Pattaya more than once of course! This spy program spots barmongers heading down to the bars of Soi 6 or the gogo bars of Walking Street or Soi LK Metro. As soon as you make a turn to enter a bar the surveillance drone overhead employs facial recognition technology to match you to your passport as a previous visitor to Thailand and sends an immediate alert to the app on the bargirls iPhones inside the bar that you’re about to enter. (Did you really think all those girls looking at their iPhones inside the bar were playing Connect Four?) Hell no! It’s all a trick to confuse you of what’s really happening!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know some of you guys are thinking this is all some kind of wild conspiracy theory. A myth. A legend. Something that can’t possibly be true! How could it be? But you’re wrong! It is true! How do I know? Because it’s taken me years of travels down the dark alleys and Soi’s of Thailand to uncover the truth. (Did you really think that Julian Assange and Wikileaks were the only ones uncovering the world’s best kept secrets?) Hmmmm? I admit that early in my career there was a time that I worked as a corporate spy but now like one of Marvels super hero’s in the Avengers I put my powers to use for the betterment of barmongers everywhere. (You’re welcome).

Now let me describe to you what will happen to you one darkened night under the neon lights of a Bangkok or Pattaya bar. You’re going to walk inside a bar at random, a bar that you have visited on a previous trip or maybe a bar that you’ve never been in before. Before you can even reach a barstool and order a drink the secret bargirl surveillance program will have identified you as a previous visitor and will have sent an instant alert to the bargirls phone app. One of the bargirls will suddenly jump up and streak towards you like a heat seeking hypersonic cruise missile. Once she has you cornered the bargirl will say that one phrase that experienced barmongers fear most. “Don’t you remember me?” Even worse the bargirl will call you by name “Alex! Don’t you remember me?” Ughhhhhhhh….

Having been taken completely by surprise you will look at the bargirl and realize to your horror that you not only can’t remember this girls name, you don’t remember her face either. You just don’t have any idea who the hell she is which makes you think several things:

 1. I really must have been drunk last trip.
 2. I wonder if I promised this bargirl a 500 baht tip the next time I saw her?
 3. Was she a good fuck? If I can’t remember her then the answer is probably no.

But being curious you’re going to ask the bargirl some questions to clarify things.

A. Did I barfine you last time? Answer: No.
B. Did I buy you ladydrinks last time? Answer: No.
C. How do you know me then?

This is where things start to get weird. The bargirl is going to tell you that you barfined her friend before. Not only that, she’s going to tell you that you stayed at XYZ Hotel and she’s going to be right. But despite all of this you still have absolutely no fucking idea who her friend is either. So, you’re going to ask the obvious question. “When did I barfine your friend?” And she’s going to give you the answer that’s going to make you consider giving up drinking tequila.

 Her answer? “You barfine my friend 2 years ago.” WTF? Two years ago???? Now consider for a moment how many guys have barfined, bought drinks for or just talked to a pretty Thai bargirl over the course of 2 years! Hundreds for sure! Maybe a couple of thousand! Maybe several thousand! Yet a bargirl that you never barfined, bought a drink for or even talked to before knows your name, the hotel you stayed at 2 years ago and probably everything else about you except the pin number for your ATM card and I’m not so sure she wouldn’t have that so maybe it would be a good time to change your password.

You can doubt the existence of this secret Bangkok and Pattaya bargirl aerial drone facial recognition and iPhone app surveillance program if you like but do so at your own peril. But someday, in some bar in Bangkok or Pattaya you too will hear the phrase “Don’t you remember me?” and you will realize that I was right and that you have now achieved the peak of barmongering notoriety and are now without a doubt a butterfly man!

I can tell you these secrets because all I have described has happened to me personally and I’ve heard that phrase “Don’t you remember me?” not once, not twice, not three times but four times by 4 different Thai bargirls at 4 different bars in one night. I can’t go into any further details as I’m now entering into the barmongering butterfly witness protection program to hide my identity from all of those Thai bargirl spies out to hit me with “Alex! Don’t you remember me?”

Laugh if you will but someday it will be your turn to hear that dreaded phrase and be left without  having a fucking clue as to who that bargirl is or when or where you met her…..

That’s Bangkok and Pattaya After Hours….

No comments: